What verb goes with love? Seek. Find. Wait. Grow. Create. Uncover. Stumble. Collide. Sometimes, I wish there were only one. One line of action to get me there. At least if I knew what, I could figure out how. If love where I place, I would know that I needed to find it. That I
When should things be hard? And how hard? When do we move past the threshold of shift and change and growth and into the space of degradation? When are we making things hard because we are too afraid to make them easy? My life spirals when it doesn’t feel hard enough. When there’s too much
Love feels like it should be constant. Perhaps most especially our own. That it should be the same. That it should be unwavering and undaunted. Free from the heaviness of questioning. Of having to answer our doubts and our fears over and over again with practiced layers of grace. It would be so much easier
Bigness. The knowing of oneself. Is heavy. Not in a way that is neat and contained and balanced. But instead, asymmetrical. Irregular. Wiggly. It can’t simply be picked up. Without thought. Or intention. Or bracing one’s back. Or by just anyone. To be made light. To be held. That person needs to have done the
If we fall into love with another human, we must hurtle into love with ourselves. Gravity isn’t a strong enough force to bring us down to the ground of our own deservedness. Nor to keep us there. Because love is a choice. Maybe not in the presence of another human, but always, always in the
How is it that we begin to know ourselves? Not in a way that is fixed. That can be stated with blunt and uninteresting certainty. But rather, how can we know ourselves in that same surprising spaciousness as knowing a lover. There is such sweetness to uncovering the broken pieces of a lover. Not because
Why do we do the work? That messy, inconvenient work that is to wander around in our own heads and our own histories. Unpacking our lives in the hopes of making sense of them. In the hopes of being better, fuller humans because of them. Wouldn’t it be easier to leave them neatly packed? Concealed.